Teaching Confession - Not for Judgement or Condemnation, but for Healing

In the winter of 2013, I organized a youth sleepover event with youth from St Philip's, Dunbar and St Mary's, Kerrisdale. As a part of these events, the youth took over parts of the worship service the next morning at whichever parish was hosting. This gave the youth an opportunity to learn about various parts of worship and then plan and lead them.

For this first event, one of parts of the service that we looked at was the confession and absolution. This was a great opportunity because often in intergenerational worship, confession and absolution are omitted. This is sometimes to keep the service shorter, but also there is a sense that this is not one of the more "child-friendly" parts of our service.

Confession, in my opinion, gets a bad reputation. In many Anglican Churches it is associated with a God and a Church that condemns people for their actions and seeks to frighten them into good behaviour. It is also associated with punishment or penance that seems to have little or no relationship with the sin to which it is a response. In many progressive Church traditions, we shy away from the language of sin because it has so often been used to condemn, shame and exclude people from God's love and grace. But anyone who has experienced the power of forgiveness knows that confession is about healing, restoring relationships and inclusion. In confession we acknowledge our weaknesses, our brokenness and our need for help that is beyond ourselves. We also acknowledge that we need to be in relationship with God and with one another. We ask for healing and forgiveness and we commit to offering these things to one another.

Acknowledging wrongdoing, asking forgiveness, learning to forgive others and building relationships are all basic parts of growing up - they are ideas that children and youth are already learning. Why would we exclude them in the context of their spiritual life? It is important that we don't shy away from these parts of our communal life that deal with sin and brokenness in our ministry with children and youth. Beyond putting together the confession for worship the next day, the night prayer service that we did focused on self-examination, confession and reconciliation. After a time of reflecting on the day that had past and where we might need to ask forgiveness or forgive others, we said the following prayer of confession and then we exchanged the peace with one another:

Leader: As we prepare for sleep, let us confess to God our brokenness and need.

Silence

Leader: God forgives and heals us.

All: We need your healing, merciful God:

give us true repentance.

Some sins are plain to us;

some escape us,

some we cannot face.

We ask to be forgiven

through your transforming and renewing Word.

Leader: Through the resurrection of Christ,

God offers us life at every moment.

Know that you are forgiven,

and be at peace.

God forgives you.

Therefore, forgive others;

forgive yourself.

This prayer of confession is clear in the focus being on healing and restoring relationships as opposed to just a frightened plea for mercy from God's judgement and condemnation. Hopefully, in this way, confession can become a source of new life to people of all ages in the Church. We don't want to create a preoccupation with our own sin, unworthiness, failings or mistakes, but rather seek an opportunity to reflect on how our relationships can grow in the light of God's grace and love in order that all might have the fullness of life that Jesus brings us.

On a more practical note, here is the process we followed for the purposes of our worship planning. Together we looked at the confession in the Book of Alternative Services: What were the different parts of each prayer? Who was saying them? What kind of words were used? What kind of feelings or images were used? We also discussed why we did confession together in worship and how it fits into the whole Eucharist service. Looking at confession together was important before we set to work on our next task. We divided the group into pairs and each pair wrote a petition of confession and reconciliation relating to the theme of worship which was spiritual gifts. Before they began working we also reviewed what kind of language we use in worship and why. For this I got to use one of my favourite resources, "Youth Worship Source Book" by my friend Sarah Kathleen Johnson, a Mennonite Pastor in Ottawa and fellow graduate in liturgical studies from Yale Divinity School. This book provides many lessons and activities to introduce youth to different elements of corporate worship as well as how to plan and lead them. After going through this information together, the youth came up with their prayers in pairs with the help of the leaders and then after a snack break they shared these petitions with the larger group. Then the group thought of a response that the congregation could say together after each prayer so that they flowed together.

As always, I was very impressed with how insightful and honest their prayers were. Overnight, I edited them for grammar and length and put them together in order. The youth led the confession during the service each one reading part of the prayer they had written with their partner. Here is the confession that they wrote on the theme of spiritual gifts. (Thanks to the youth of St Philip's and St Mary's for their hard work).

Cameron: Let us confess our sins, responding to each prayer together with the phrase “we will breathe out what is past and breathe in God’s gifts.”